- Before, i wonder how God created human being, how he created a simple sperm to an egg and bring it to life, i admit, even until now i still wonder, even i am now a mother. For nine months, i carried my first baby and his a he, the development of the life of my baby inside my womb is a big miracle happen to my life that even until now, i still have a lot of WHY. Upon looking back all those pictures of ultrasound every month that i have, from a tiny form of egg with no arms and legs showing yet, to a 6lbs baby after few months, is just amazing. Now that i am a certified mother, the feeling i am feeling everyday is unexplainable. The emotions i have is unpredictable. I am worried that i might not doing right for my baby or even to my husband, i worried a lot of things as a mom. First time is always a difficult experience but the best experience that will always reminds and teaches me to be a strong mother to my baby, I am still adjusting but i am coping as a mother to my baby. I am doing my best to be the light of my baby, my husband as my family. Sometimes i become paranoid, over thinking of what if i fail to be a mother or even to be a wife, that what if i fail both, there’s a lot of what if and doubts in me, on my situation right now. But i know God will never leave me alone to face this big changes in my life, to face the family i created. He pit me in this situation cause He knows i can handle this, that i can manage the situation, so i am be thankful instead, cause God trusted me this way.