"George Takei" by Diane Krauss (DianeAnna) - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:George_Takei.jpg#/media/File:George_Takei.jpg
American actor George Takei at the Star Trek Convention UFP Con One in Hamm, Germany, 1996.

Star Trek Gone Wild

Captain Kirk Heads to Gilligan’s Island

 Mr. Spock: Captain, I’m reading a distress signal from a remote uninhabited island on earth – highly illogical.

Bones: It’s that green blood of yours Spock. You’re always overanalyzing everything, you green-blooded Vulcan.

Scotty: AYE, this certainly calls for a drink, lads?

Captain Kirk: Put a cork in it Scotty. I… MUST… Have answers!! RED ALERT! OMG I love doing that!

Spock: I’ve pinpointed the location captain.

Kirk: Scotty, beam us down, you skirt wearing lushface…

 

Kirk: All right Scotty, you’ve sent us to a women’s Zumba class again. Ya, it was funny like the first 50 times!

Scotty: LMAO! Aye Captain, beaming you to the correct coordinates. Wait… SULU! I told you lad, keep your hands off my kilt!

Spock: Captain, we are closing in now. The origin of the signal is dead ahead.

Bones: OMG look, it’s the professor sending signals with his coconuts using magnetized Gilligan for power!

Gilligan: Captain Kirk! I am a huge fan of yours! Could I get your autograph, Mr. James Tiberius Kirk?

Kirk: Phasers on stun, fire away… NOW! BTW, have you guys met my 3 dogs – Price, Line, and Dotcom?

Skipper: Gilligan little buddy, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into. Because of you, we got phasered! And, you know about my cholesterol condition, you idiot!

 

Maryanne/Ginger: Breaker 19, we need HELP! This drunkard in a dress just beamed us into his bedroom he and suggested erogenous procreative activities!

Kirk: Bones, don’t just stand there, do something about this!

Bones: Damn it Jim I’m a doctor, not a counselor for intoxicated deviant perverts.

Kirk: No, you psycho, I meant beam up and video it on your smartphone, this has YouTube written all over it!

To be discontinued…