‘Oh, I look but I can’t afford to buy. The circumstances in my life I do’t get so comfortable with material worldly things. Over the course of my life since the time of my youth from the age of six years old. One Christmas memory that was instilled my mind had taught me not to get comfortable with worldly things.

Canon Vixia HF R600 High Definition Camcorder Deluxe Bundle – Black For the last few Christmases I make my Christmas wish.

I have always wished for a Camcorder. Why? I would love to share my biography of my story how I survive life circumstances of being raised in a dysfunctional home, by a mother who lived with mental illness, years of me being abused as a child and the accidents so my father called them. I have experienced growing up in my home living with my parents episodes of past traumatic experiences. My faith is what kept me going and given me the strength to fight to survive. I have been bullied all through my school age years.

Sharing briefly about my life experiences I had many who I have shared my story with that asked me this question: Why don’t I write a book? I have said to myself, One day I am gone to write a book about my life. I say joke around, I am a walking testimony. As the lyrics to the song, What life don’t kill you, just makes you stronger. Fighting to survive through all my ordeal I know God has been with me all the steps I have taken he was right beside me. Protecting me, keeping me safe. Many times the enemy may have tried to rob my life but I survived. On two occasions from having my head busted open, main artery cut on right ankle from losing so much blood, I laid in a coma for three month for the first time and four months on the second time.

I survived domestic violence. Ex husband broke my nose beaten me so bad to where I fell unconsciousness for a few hours. Every scar that was placed on my body from those who placed them there has a story behind it. I not gone to sit here and tell you that forgiveness was easy. It was hard and have taken many years to find forgiveness in my heart for people who had brought me harm. One day I woke up, God open my eyes. I was so tired being angry so I fell on my knees and has to ask God for his help to help me to find forgiveness. It didn’t happen over night. Every day, I prayed to God for help. Gradually,  over time I started leaving go and placing all my troubles and burdens into God’s hands.

Came to my thoughts one Christmas seasons after having to spend the Christmas holidays of 2001, year we had to bury our granddaughter who lived for thirteen days. She was born a preemie, weighed one pound at the time of her birth. I murmur to myself I wished I had a camcorder to been able to video the time she was born till the time God called her home. I would been able to look back to help remind me of the smallest precious gift God has blessed us with. A beautiful granddaughter, thirteen days with her.  God blessed me three months with my sister who lost her battle to a very cancer called Squamous Cell.   I don’t want to miss out anymore of Kodak memories.

Fact that every year since the passing of my granddaughter and sister my Christmas wish I ask for every year wish for a camcorder. Every Christmas year passes and my Christmas wish have not received. It is all I wish for. I don’t let it get me down I just put on my Christmas wish list for next year.