“I abhor weakness. I despite the smell of it. It repulses me so much, I mean, who wants to reek of weakness? ” Celina said to herself as tears made their way down her chubby cheeks. She felt her heart shatter into a thousand little pieces. Her mind span and she felt that there was no need to stop it from wandering to wherever. Would she ever come back stronger? Would she ever find her way back to the lost glory? Or would she forever wonder in the wilderness?
She decided to listen to some music to calm her nerves. It felt like the first song on her playlist was meant for her. it was entitled ‘I know’ by Jude. The lyrics was a bit slandering but she could really use it. The song was as follows:
You’ve got such a pretty smile
It’s a shame the things you hide behind it
Let ’em go, give it up for a while
Let ’em free and we will both go find it
I know there’s nowhere you can hide it
I know the feeling of alone
I know that you do not feel invited
But, come back, come back in from the cold
(Read more: Jude – I Know Lyrics | MetroLyrics )
She thought of all the times that her smile concealed pain. How much she wanted to give up yet again. The feeling was so real and seductive. She had been in the valley, so deep that she gave up on herself. Her friends always thought she was a tough and emotionally strong. She recalls letting go, fading into nothingness, eventually giving up. She had no profound reason to hold on.
The song continued;
Back away, come, back away, come
Back away, come, back away, come
Back away, come, back away
I am here and I will be forever and ever and I
I know that there’s nowhere you can hide it
I know the feeling of alone
Trust me and don’t keep that on the inside
Soon you’ll be locked out on your own.
she did not want to be locked out alone. She needed to come back stronger, more fierce and focused to face the hurdles head on! This is where it all began . . .
To be continued . . .